Post Grad Boredom...

Do you ever get tired of thinking?

I've been watching lots of tv...

Sometimes I just want to turn my brain off.  One of the reasons I don't consistently blog is because I feel like I'm dealing with so much.  Even though it might help to write some of it down so I can get it out and stop worrying about it, I lack the energy to want to even try and collect all of my thoughts.
It's like the feeling you get when you're carrying WAY too many things.  you can't hold on anymore so everything goes flying all over and creates a mess you cannot, at that moment, fathom trying to begin to clean up.  The idea of having to clean up that mess at that moment makes you so overwhelmed that the only thing you can do is just sit down and cry hoping magically that will somehow crying will make it all better and the work will get done for you.

I've been reading a lot, I guess that's good.

I feel like that very often now and I'm not happy about it.  And I know that I really should have no right to vent about having "so much to do" because I don't have a job.  the problem in not having a job is all the worry and work you have to put in to get one.  While bills pile up and you have to make payments with money you don't have you're also looking and waiting and wondering about any and every job opportunity out there.  the worst part is being stuck at home with no car or anything interesting to do!  SOOOO BORING!!!!!  I want to do something so badly.  I want to work and I want a schedule to follow.
Being a theater major while in school, I thrived on being busy.

I've been doing a lot of this lately.

Since I just moved, thew house is a mess, and it's not my mess to clean up, so that is driving me a bit insane because there is no space to move, and my room has no furniture, so that is a mess too.  I'm too poor to buy furniture for my room, this is sad.  the disorganization in the house gets to me.

I really need to change my thinking right now and get a job!  I know I will be in my right place, but my place right now is boring and stressing me to tears all at the same time.  I'm such a whiny baby, and I know it.  Which is why I'm doing something about it this week.

Wishing you love,
<3 always,
     Jodi

Time Flies!

I can't believe it's already been 2 weeks since I've been in California! I have seen So many things; The City (SF) Twin peaks, the sutra baths, pier 39, Alcatraz, the redwoods, fog.... the list goes on...

"The City"

I am loving it here and the time is going by so fast. It's been a growing experience for me as well as buckets of fun. I have made some great friends, learned a few things about relationships, and also put my trust in the wrong things. I'll know better next time, hopefully. I think my friend Lizzie said it best:

Sutra Baths

"If my minimal life experience has taught me ONE thing, it is this: One should never be upset with oneself for letting people get close enough to hurt them. The blame belongs to the people who hurt you. When your only fault is loving someone the way you want to be loved, you should walk away from that relationship with your head held high. Have pride in your kind heart. It's a rare gift." Lizzie Bennett

Alcatraz

I had a situation last summer very similar to one this summer dealing with relationships. I expected too much out of someone who I really didn't know and ended up getting hurt again in the same way as last year. I will not be making the same mistake again. As my friend Lizzie said. (I'm paraphrasing) "We are good people and assume that everyone will allot the same courtesy to us as we would to them."

I would have to agree with that statement. I expect good, and hold people to the same standards as I hold myself, so I really shouldn't be as disappointed as I was when I leaned that that does not hold true for a lot of people in this world, and that's okay because we're all individuals and value different things. A lesson that I will not soon forget.

Redwood fairy circle

So anyway, My time in Cali has mostly been filled with great times and amazing memories and time spent with amazing people. I'm not going to dwell on the past and stupid mistakes, but look to the future. I have no idea what it holds for me, but I hope California is in it somewhere, as well as Japan! I'm really looking forward to applying for the JET Program to go teach English in Japan for a year. I'm also looking into grad schools and hopefully working out how to get my butt out to CA again, whether permanent or temporary.


As always, I wish you all love, and thanks for reading!

<3 always,
     Jodi

Hello California, it's nice to meet you!

So this week I traveled from my new home in Parker, to Ventura, CA!  My college friends who were interning in CO decided to drive back to Cali, and take me with them!!!!  This seemed perfect to me because it meant I could visit, dun dun DUNNNN; a boy! Haha.

Zyzzx Road!

As I was getting very excited about going to Cali to see a bunch of my friends and meet up with this guy I've been dating, something hit the fan, and it went all over my face!... Oh wait, those were just my tears.

I called my friends in tears telling them I might no longer go with them if, the guy who we've previously named, Heath, didn't want to see me.

I showed up at my moms house late Friday night (I was supposed to be leaving Saturday afternoon) really needing a mommy hug.  We talked about what had happened and how I wanted to cancel the plane ticket I had bought for coming back home.  After some discussion, she thought that I should still go, because who better to be with to get my mind off of boy problems then my friends!  And I'd be doing it in the lovely California, to which I had never been before.  So I put on my big girl pants, and cried some more... but after that I went home, packed and was ready to be on my way to California!

Can you tell we've bonded in mutual weirdness?! 

We traveled through Utah, Arizona, Nevada (stopping off along the strip; SO COOL!) and finally to the LA area where I would be staying with my friend, House.  This was where I met my friend's (House) girlfriend, Lizzie.

Lizzie, House and I!

Let's just say that this girl is my twin soul, so similar in personality and likes - not to mention gorgeous, that if I was either gay, or a boy... I wold steal her and keep her for myself!  MUAHAHAHA!   She is AWESOME!  We clicked to fast, and I have loved spending time with both of them!  :)

Me with my In-N-Out cup!

They took me to In-N-Out for the first time earlier this week, and Oh. My. GOSH!  It was amazing!  I will never be able to have a hamburger or fries again without them paling in comparison! We drove around in House's bug... which he insists is 'magenta and cream' but I still say magenta is a fancy word for pink!  I love this car, even without any A/C or proper seat belts, it's so vintage!  Plus it got us from point A to point B... until the battery decided to crap out.  But we were able to make it back alright, and have been driving a car that now works and has A/C, so I'm a happy Jodi!  We also went to get boba the next day!  I LOVE BOBA!!!

House trying to get the bug to start

So my week has been going GREAT!  and I love California!  One of the best parts is that Heath and I have resolved things, and I will be visiting him next week!!


I'll let you know how things play out! :)

Wishing you love,

<3 always,  
     Jodi

I'm back!

     Okay, so I realize I haven't blogged in a while, and while I know I don;t have people itching for my blogs, I'd still like to be more consistent.
I did predict that I would not be the greatest at actually blogging on a regular or consistent basis.  I know myself too well to think that I would have.  I'm a very ADD person, so if I get distracted easily, I forget all about things.  Hence the reason I am ALWAYS late!  Anyway, that's a who other issue altogether!

View from 'Daisy's' Window

     So I'm blogging again now because I miss it, and have lots of thoughts and feelings going through my head; and what better way then to write them down?

     So In most recent news, I was able to visit several of my friends from Prin up in Wescliffe, CO!  I had a wonderful time seeing them in some community theater where they SHINED!  I'm very sad that I missed my opportunity to audition, but there is always next year!  Who knows.

The Lady's Not for Burning

I must say though, that with such a small community, the acting pool to choose from was limited, and my friends were the BEST parts about each play.  Which I am not sure how much that can be taken as an insult, but I like to see it as a compliment and a testament to how ultimately WONDERFUL each of them is, and how amazing the acting program at Prin is!

I'm in that audience... somewhere...

     Other then just watching them be in play, we spent a lot of time together in their pseudo apartment.  That was probably the best part of the trip.  It felt so natural and wonderful to be back in a dorm like setting with no parents or adults to have to placate to or worry about a curfew!  We were going out practically every night, and in a small town, is really cool to do.

the beautiful double rainbow that appeared the day I departed

     I love the dynamics of a small town; you can walk practically everywhere, most things are family owned and local, versus chain stores like Wal-Mart, and you become a regular very quickly to the point that everyone knows your name.  Granted I think my friends were tiring of the small hick-ville-ish town in the BFE (butt-fucking-Egypt) I quite enjoyed the serene location, however, I think I would tire of not having a city near by. Which is why I'm SO EXCITED THAT THEY ARE COMING DOWN THIS COMING WEEKEND FOR REN FEST!!!!! GAHHH!!!!  Lol, yes, I typed that in all caps.  You should have seen my face while I was writing all of that, probably a very amusing site to see. :)

     Anyway, I had such a great time getting to see them and catch up.  It was very hard for me to leave.  It also made me realize how excited with anticipation I am at the prospect of having my own place to live.  But again, I'll save that inner monologue for another time.

     Until then, blessed be!

               <3 always, Jodi

Lacking Direction

I have a very vague idea as to what I want to do with my life and it scares the crap out of me!  I really wish I knew what I wanted to do forever and could go out there and do it.  I want to travel and see the world, but I don't want to leave my home at the same time.  I love the security of friends and family and want to stay close to them, but also think that I could learn a lot from going and teaching English in Japan or going back to England or seeing what LA or other big cities think of me.  

Yamagata, Japan 2008

Really cool flower cave that reminds me of England

I'd love to stay home for a bit after I graduate, but I don't really want to be at the job I have right now... don't get me wrong, I LOVE the people I work with, it's just not really something I can do for more the a few weeks without wanting to shoot something. lol.  I would love to audition for Disney and go to Florida or California, I'd even work in Tokyo or at the new resort in Hawaii, but I'd miss my family and the people in CO.

I like the idea of marriage counseling, but that would require grad school.  I don;t want to go back to school and pay for it with something I'm not sure I love and want to do for the rest of my life.  I think that's one of the scariest things.  Once you're out of college you're kind of expected to pick a career and stick with it.  I have fun in school because I can kind of choose what classes interest me and learn new things.  Once you're out of school things seem so daunting and final.  I don't want to be stuck with a job that I hate being at.  I want to do something that excites me and that I want to work for...

    

Another idea is working on a cruise ship.  That way I could travel, but do it in a predictable environment and then leave after a few months or a year depending on how long the cruise and my contract states. 

There are so many options and just about all of them terrify me to some degree.   

Last weeks in England :(

     So I last left you at the Globe.  We moved on to Surrey, England for our home stays.  Home stays were probably everyone's favorite time in relation to bed and bathroom accommodations as well as food... most of us had not had a home-cooked meal for over a month.We moved to house stays, since there were a limited amount of families, the range of students with one family went from 1 student to 4 students. 

Kristina our house 'mum'
(I was chewing my bagel in this pic...)

I shared a house mum, Kristina, with Rachel.  Kristina had a cat named Pansy who was the most adorable calico >^_^<.  She bought bagels for Rachel and I to eat for breakfast, but it was really adorable because she had never eaten a bagel before.  Rachel and I got to breakfast and she was all excited to show us that she bought bagels, but had never 'made a bagel before' so she asked us how to 'make' a bagel.  She popped them in the oven and toasted them for us and we had toasted bagels with peanut butter and honey :) while she stuck with her usual toast and tea in the morning.  I miss toast and tea :(

The Group in Surrey

While we were at house stays, during the day we were at Claremont, the English version of Principia lower to upper school.  Here we taught Shakespeare ( A Mid Summer Nights Dream) to 5th and 6th years.... which is the equivalent to I think 4th and 5th graders.  They were ADORABLE!!!  One girl told me that she loved my accent... I was taken aback and told her that I loved hers.  We were also asked multiple times if we would come back next week. :)

Working with Claremont Kids

Once we left house stays, we made our way to Stratford upon Avon and Shakespeare's birthplace.  Along with doing some more character research at the BT (Birthplace Trust) we had lectures and workshops about the seven different shows we would be seeing at the RSC (Royal Shakespeare Company) and Swan theatres.  We even had talk backs with an actor from each play... Scott Handy, by far the coolest because he's been in movies like A Knights Tale and The Patrick Stewart version of Macbeth.  All of the shows we got to see there were pretty fantastic.  

We remained in Stratford, in the same place for 2 weeks!  YAY for getting to unpack a bit and not live out of a suitcase!  Since the group was so big, we were spread out in 3 different B and B's.  Stratford is an adorable small town, but definitely a tourist town; our B and B's were located among several other B and B's all on either side of one long street.  Mos having names like "Twelfth Night" "Cymbeline" and other Shakespearean topics.  I stayed in Anne Hathaway's B and B rooming with Lila, and sharing the rest of the B and B with 4 other abroad girls and Chrissy, our theatre teacher... we had the entire B and B to ourselves!!  We even could use the kitchen and laundry facilities!  

It became so natural to just walk around Stratford, finding really awesome places to eat and shop.  They had the best places to get cream tea, (a scone with clotted cream and jam, with a pot of tea) and Chinese food.  I miss cream tea :(  the scones in America suck compared to the ones you could get at the cheapest places in England. 

Hampton Court

Anyway, going to so many productions in the 2 week period, and having Sunday and Wednesday night church, we were wearing fancy clothes a lot... I bought the most awesome dress, skirt, and red wedges while staying in Stratford. 

Warwick Castle

While in Stratford and making our way to Stratford, we stopped at some really awesome and famous places, like Hampton Court, and Warwick Castle etc...  

We made our way back to London, staying very close to The British Library, and Kings Cross Station, which is where platform 9 and 3/4 from Harry Potter is!! It was nice to go back to a familiar place right before we left.  Since I had finished all of my play reports in Stratford, the only thing I had to do the last 3 days was relax and get packed.  I watched a lot of tv... The Big Bang Theory is very popular over there, it made me REALLY happy!  

We were excited!

On that last Saturday in London, 3 of my friends surprised me with an early graduation present... tickets to see The Phantom of the Opera!!!!!!!!!  I died and Shakespearean died!!!  It was one of THE BEST SHOWS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!  SO much better live!  :D

I was freaking out!

That Sunday I returned to the Globe with Dalton and Piper to take one more combat workshop before we left... I got a pretty awesome battle wound from being stabbed in the thigh by Dalton, complete accident of course; It left a gnarly bruise.  We learned a very awesome fight sequence where we disarmed each other then moved onto fist fighting.  I got kicked in the stomach and choked, while I got to kick someone in the stomach and smash his head in the ground, then finish him off with a dagger to the jugular and wiping the bloody blade on my victims back.  Don't mess with me, I'm awesome!  

On Monday we all departed London in the early morning and got back to St. Louis that evening.  It was almost a 24 hour day for most of us, with the time difference.  I crashed around 10:30pm/11pm which would have been about 5:30 or 6am in England and I was up at 7 am.... WOHOO!!!  

I stayed at my friend Rachel's house with Cam, our other friend. :)  It was SO NICE to sleep in a big bed and have home cooked meals again before returning to Prin campus on Tuesday evening and having classes on Wednesday.  

When we landed in D.C to get a connecting flight to St. Louis, I cried a bit.  It was an overwhelming feeling of joy to be home, but sad that I was no longer in England.  

Leaving England :(

We got right back into classes here at Prin, and had our first real work on Pericles, the play we are putting on in about 3 more weeks.  Most of us were anxious to finally get working on this play that we've been cast in since before the summer.  

Sorry this is long, but a lot has happened.  I'll update once more and let you know how Pericles went!  CANNOT wait for it.... I'm quadruple cast as a daughter to an incestuous father, a fisherman, a lady at Diana's temple, and a pitifully sodden  prostitute.... Haha!  Thank goodness I'm very comfortable with this group of people! 

<3 always, 

     Jodi  

England weeks 2ish-4ish

GAHH!!!  SO many cool and wonderfully exciting things have been happening!  We've been doing so much everyday I barely have time to breath... except in voice class where we spend about an hour doing breathing warm-ups :)  But still.  We're going practically all day long going from this activity to that.  I love it!  We've accomplished, what would normally take a few weeks time, so much in so little time; though I am getting ahead of myself a bit. Let's see, where did I leave you off at... Oh yes, Oxford.

Kings Cross Station

Well after we completed a week of classes at Oxford, we took a bus to London and settled down at a dorm near the Kings Cross Station (Where platform 9 3/4 from Harry Potter is).  This was where we spent most of week 3.  We had from Monday to Thursday to complete all the research we could getting primary sources from the British Library.  This place has a massive amount of knowledge stored underneath it.  It takes about 70 minutes to get your books once you've ordered them.  


You may only bring pencils into the library with you, no pens or highlighters.  Paper, laptops are acceptable, but no camera's, jackets, sharp objects... because we all want to cut up pieces of history.  Sadly some people did hence the no sharp object rule.  

In case you didn't catch it, The British Library

So yeah, we sat in a big room with these books from the 14th to 17th centuries... some of them were falling apart and a lot were written in old English where V's read as U's and certain letters like an s look like an f, so lesson would look like 'leffon'.  But being able to hold books like that was slightly exciting and intimidating all at once.  Anyway, that week was pretty boring because lots of sitting and researching was involved.  I loved all of the knowledge that I soaked up, and I felt really smart, but I'm an actor... I need to be moving, thus I take you to where we next set up; Bankside right near Shakespeare's GLOBE!!!!!

So this past week we have been taking classes at The Globe Theatre where Shakespeare would have put on his plays... however the original globe was burnt down in the late 1500's when a cannon went off during a production of Henry VIII and set fire to the stage.  It was re-built soon after, then torn down again by the church in around the 1640's.  The Globe that we are at now is a replica of the original and was built sometime in the last century.  Okay, now that you know your history, lol, we have had movement classes, scene classes, text classes, voice classes, and one of my favorites, combat classes!!!!  Movement has been really awesome and fun, it's been getting me back into stretching and dancing; which I have missed with a passion.  For scene class, we are doing an abbreviated version of Winter's Tale, by Shakespeare.  We are sharing and swapping roles throughout, so it's a bit confusing and weird, but if you saw it, it would make sense.  It's about 40 minutes long and we will be performing it after having the script less then a week on Wednesday.  For text class we have been learning a lot about how to interpret how to say lines and going over iambs and stuff; basically it's a crash course in Shakespeare's text.  Voice class is a MAJOR work out!  Seriously!  We are doing a lot of stretches and movements that restrict the space available in our chests so that the breath is forced to expand in our backs and other places.  This will be great for dancing and projecting on stage.  

Rehearsing A Winter's Tale

Combat class, well there were two REALLY good looking guys that were there for teaching and demonstrating purposes.  The fight choreographer, Phil, was so knowledgeable about Shakespeare and all kinds of different types of stage combat; well he should be after being in the business for 50 years or so.  Anyway, we took class for 2 hours on rapier and dagger fighting!!!  It was SO AWESOME!!!  I also got some help from one of the cute younger guys who looks like a musketeer; that will go in the memory bank FOREVER! I went back that same weekend on our free day to work again on stage combat, this time it was just working with a rapier and not a dagger, but still LOTS of fun!!!  I would love to do this as a job, seriously, it's SO COOL!  

On the Globe Stage!!!

We've seen a lot of really awesome productions while here and I cannot even begin to tell you about all the awesomeness that has happened since we've been at the Globe.  We leave tomorrow for house stays, then we'll be heading to Stratford. :D

<3 always,

Jodi