Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Lacking Direction

I have a very vague idea as to what I want to do with my life and it scares the crap out of me!  I really wish I knew what I wanted to do forever and could go out there and do it.  I want to travel and see the world, but I don't want to leave my home at the same time.  I love the security of friends and family and want to stay close to them, but also think that I could learn a lot from going and teaching English in Japan or going back to England or seeing what LA or other big cities think of me.  
Yamagata, Japan 2008
Really cool flower cave that reminds me of England
I'd love to stay home for a bit after I graduate, but I don't really want to be at the job I have right now... don't get me wrong, I LOVE the people I work with, it's just not really something I can do for more the a few weeks without wanting to shoot something. lol.  I would love to audition for Disney and go to Florida or California, I'd even work in Tokyo or at the new resort in Hawaii, but I'd miss my family and the people in CO.

I like the idea of marriage counseling, but that would require grad school.  I don;t want to go back to school and pay for it with something I'm not sure I love and want to do for the rest of my life.  I think that's one of the scariest things.  Once you're out of college you're kind of expected to pick a career and stick with it.  I have fun in school because I can kind of choose what classes interest me and learn new things.  Once you're out of school things seem so daunting and final.  I don't want to be stuck with a job that I hate being at.  I want to do something that excites me and that I want to work for...
Another idea is working on a cruise ship.  That way I could travel, but do it in a predictable environment and then leave after a few months or a year depending on how long the cruise and my contract states. 
There are so many options and just about all of them terrify me to some degree.   

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