Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Post Grad Boredom...

Do you ever get tired of thinking?

I've been watching lots of tv...
Sometimes I just want to turn my brain off.  One of the reasons I don't consistently blog is because I feel like I'm dealing with so much.  Even though it might help to write some of it down so I can get it out and stop worrying about it, I lack the energy to want to even try and collect all of my thoughts.
It's like the feeling you get when you're carrying WAY too many things.  you can't hold on anymore so everything goes flying all over and creates a mess you cannot, at that moment, fathom trying to begin to clean up.  The idea of having to clean up that mess at that moment makes you so overwhelmed that the only thing you can do is just sit down and cry hoping magically that will somehow crying will make it all better and the work will get done for you.

I've been reading a lot, I guess that's good.
I feel like that very often now and I'm not happy about it.  And I know that I really should have no right to vent about having "so much to do" because I don't have a job.  the problem in not having a job is all the worry and work you have to put in to get one.  While bills pile up and you have to make payments with money you don't have you're also looking and waiting and wondering about any and every job opportunity out there.  the worst part is being stuck at home with no car or anything interesting to do!  SOOOO BORING!!!!!  I want to do something so badly.  I want to work and I want a schedule to follow.
Being a theater major while in school, I thrived on being busy.

I've been doing a lot of this lately.
Since I just moved, thew house is a mess, and it's not my mess to clean up, so that is driving me a bit insane because there is no space to move, and my room has no furniture, so that is a mess too.  I'm too poor to buy furniture for my room, this is sad.  the disorganization in the house gets to me.

I really need to change my thinking right now and get a job!  I know I will be in my right place, but my place right now is boring and stressing me to tears all at the same time.  I'm such a whiny baby, and I know it.  Which is why I'm doing something about it this week.

Wishing you love,
<3 always,

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